feelings that are uncomfortable

I guess this is a journal of sorts for me so I really wanted to get these feelings out. Maybe someone/anyone who reads this can help me see another side to what I am feeling. I am thankful for everything that I do have in my life. I have a wonderful husband, playful puppy, great family and friends, food on my table, all my bills are paid, great health for both me and my hubby, a reliable, dependable car, and many other blessings in my life.

However, at this point, I am feeling kinda lost. I feel as though I am missing a very important part or piece of my life. (If that makes sense.) I feel as though there is something that I am supposed to be doing or have that I do not even know about. I try meditating to figure it out, I try praying, I sit alone with my thoughts, I write down my feelings, I have done all sorts of things to figure out why I feel as though a part of me is missing and I just cannot figure it out. I only bring this up because every day I wake up with this feeling that there is something that I am supposed to do and I cannot figure it out. I feel jittery all day even though I try to focus on all the good in my life. What is it that I am supposed to be doing? Why won't the thought present itself so I know what I should do? Does anyone else ever feel like this and if so what do you do to figure out the missing link?

Awaiting sleep

I sit here typing this blog as a way to try to relax so I can sleep. Unfortunately I am unable to sleep on my own without the help of medications prescribed by the doctors. I still have nightmares and cannot turn off the thoughts that constantly go through my mind as I try to relax to sleep. This has been happening since my deployments to Iraq. Anyway thank goodness for sleep meds, because without them I only get one to two hours sleep a night. I pray for the time to come when I shall be able to sleep peacefully through out the night without the aid of medications. I long for the night that I do not have nightmares anymore. That will be a pleasant night indeed. I know it will happen eventually, I will be patient until then and continue taking my sleep meds. :-)

The Holidays

The holiday season is upon us again. It seems as though each year seems to go by faster than the previous year. People tell me that it is because I am getting older, but I say its because I am having fun. :-)

Anyway, Thanksgiving is approaching quickly, and we are preparing for our feast. It will be my husband and I this year. We have planned to have our dinner, watch some movies, and put up the Christmas tree. We are excited to see how things go with the tree and the puppy that we have. We didn't have her last Christmas so it will be exciting to see what she does.

Christmas is my favorite holiday. Not because of the gifts, don't get me wrong I love the gifts, but I absolutely love the family time, peacefulness, love, serenity, and excitement that comes along with the preparation leading up to and the actual day of Christmas.

However, we will miss our family and friends this holiday season. We won't be travelling so we won't get to see them. Hopefully next year we will get to spend the holidays with family and friends, however, this year we are celebrating alone with our own little family.

A little note about grammar in my blogs...I apologize for the mistakes in grammar that I make while typing. Please try to overlook any mistakes in grammar that I make and just focus on the words written if possible. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my blogs. I appreciate you all so much!

Deep thoughts and questions

I have found myself thinking a lot about the universe at large. What would be our reasoning for believing that we are the only life forms in the universe? I mean, why isn't it possible that other planets have their own life forms inhabiting their worlds, just like we live in ours? And if we can bring ourselves to believe in them, why must they (in our minds) be dangerous? Why can't they be friendly and helpful? I also wonder what they would look like? Could they make themselves look like us? How much more advanced are they or how much more primitive are they than us? What do you think?

I also wonder about things such as space time continuum. What are your thoughts on this concept? Do you think it is possible?

What exactly is happening when we have deja vu moments? I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this. Don't hold back. I am very open minded.

Do you think that if we desire something with all our hearts and do not have any doubt at all, but complete faith that we will have it, that it will be ours? How does one achieve having the 'faith of a mustard seed'? Just that small amount of faith is supposed to be able to move mountains.

Thanks for reading these thoughts of mine, and I hope that you will respond with some thoughts of your own. I would love to hear what you think.

seeking a job

I find myself in the same unnerving position as many people in todays economy. I am unable to find employment. I have completed schooling to become certified in the medical field. I am now certified as a Certified Clinical Medical Assistant, Certified EKG Technician, and Certified Phlebotomy Technician. It is really competitive and believe it or not employers, for the most part, prefer to hire uncertified personnel so that they can pay them much less. It is very frustrating, but I know that I will find work. If anyone knows of anyone that is searching for any of the above mentioned certifications please let me know and please put in a good word for me. Everyone please keep your fingers crossed for me and send positive thoughts and prayers that I will find employment soon. Thank you for your support.

Life filled with love

My life is amazing in many ways. I am truly blessed and thankful for all the love, understanding, and patience my husband extends to me daily. I wake up every morning in complete awe of the peaceful, happy, content feeling within our home. My wonderful husband helps me to be a better person. He accepts me as I am and doesn't criticize or judge. I have a completely amazing husband, and I love him more and more every day. I am so thankful he is a part of my life.